Tag: humor

RE2 Monsters Rated On Hotness (By Someone Who Has Never Played The Game)

.Reading time 24 minutes.

UNMARKED SPOILERS, body horror, gore, and the dark unsanctified depths of my garbage soul below. None of the images used were captured or created by me in any capacity. Click for full-view. I believe in honesty on the front end, as evidenced by the title. I come at this from a purely design-based point of […]

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Things I Saw At Dildopolis

.Reading time 33 minutes.

Deep in the heart of Texas, there is an adult megaplex situated off a certain highway. My friends (who for the purposes of this post will be S and O) and I see it every time we drive up and down this highway, have for years, and recently we decided to finally visit it. In […]

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If I Have To Read About Bonobo Sex One More Time I Swear I Will Die.

.Reading time 6 minutes.

  Why are we obsessed with monkey sex? Serious question. There has to be some sort of evolutionary precedent for this. I get it, okay? Bonobos have a lot of sex. It’s a defining characteristic of their socialization that sets them apart from their close geographic and genetic neighbors, the well-loved Common Chimpanzee (which, lest […]

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I Would Marry This Bat If I Could

.Reading time 8 minutes.

Is there any animal so resplendently perfect as the vampire bat? Rhetorical question; the answer is obviously ‘no.’ Dogs are loyal, cats are sleek, and fish generally don’t bother anyone, but the vampire bat is a perfect creature. Never before have I seen such strong evidence for the Intelligent Design theory of life. It seems […]

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