Updates! NaNo and Site Pages

I sure did let the site get away from me, I tell you what. But I’ve completely updated my ‘Written Work‘ section with all the pieces currently on the blog. Sorry about that, everyone. It’s better now!

In addition, NaNo isn’t going super well for me. It is my first time ever doing it, and I am doing it kinda on the periphs rather than officially. I foresaw something like this happening! But I am writing more than I had been lately, and the refreshment from Inktober is still sticking. Oh well. Like I said with Inktober, there’s always next year, and who knows, maybe I’ll pull myself together in time for the end!

Since Pokemon is coming out soon and I’m an emotional infant, I doubt that seriously. But maybe!

Here’s an excerpt from my NaNo novel. An expansion of the original Orchid Mantis installment, which you can find here, and more than that, a refinement of the original ideas. Hoping to make everything more streamlined and fit-together, while still being interesting.


His cat, Tinkerbell, padded onto the mattress with the light-footed grace possessed by even the largest of cats. Once she got to the expanse of his stomach, though, all that gentleness disappeared, and she dug her paws in hard. Her big red mouth appeared in the sea of white fluff that constituted her body, and raised a dreadful yowl.

Politely, Gav waited for her to finish.

“You sure are mean to me, Tink,” he said, once the last echoes of her screech had stopped buzzing in his teeth.

She turned around, showed him her butthole, and started trying to stab him through the comforter with all eighteen of her claws. Gav scooped her up in his arms and scooted off the edge of his mattress, unfolding all his prodigious height without using his hands.

Prodigious. Not a word he’d ever use in a sentence, but way back a ways, someone had used it to describe him, and it sorta stuck. Prodigious. Prodigious. Made his height sound like somethin’ special and not just a medical condition.

To celebrate twenty-three years of what could confidently be called some kind of existence, Gav let himself get away with eating marshmallow cereal in his underwear for breakfast. On the kitchen table next to him, Tink crunched through her kibble, swishing him with her tail and occasionally leaning over to lap at his milk.

Once he was done, though, there was no time to waste. He’d waited until practically sundown to get out of bed, and work was dangerously close. By the time Tink finished drinking the rest of his milk, he’d gotten his damp body shoved into clean clothes, tied his hair into its customary bun, and found his car keys under the couch where Tink batted them.

His truck tires sent up a veritable shower of dust and gravel as he peeled down his driveway and swerved onto the dirt road that led from the woods to civilization. He had maybe eighteen minutes left, it was fifteen minutes to work if he drove legally, and the gas tank was dangerously close to empty. No pressure. Hopefully he didn’t hit any deer.

There wasn’t a line at his usual gas station, being as the Neon Moon didn’t open until eight and most people were already at home. Gav expertly managed to narrowly avoid taking out the pump as he pulled in. He pulled his last two twenties out of the glovebox. Having a truck could really be a pain in the ass. Least there was room for his legs.

He opened the door and immediately heard the screaming.

The source was a small woman, Korean from just a glance, hands up by her face like a classic horror siren and just howling her head off. In front of her, a shabby little sedan which currently had some white dude hunched over it, doing his best Norman Bates impression with a key against the hood. People were staring but making no effort to help the woman or her increasingly shitty car.

Gav tunnel-visioned in on that motherfucker and before he could tell himself it wasn’t any of his business, he strode over. It didn’t take long. The guy didn’t look up, too engrossed in his violence. He froze when Gav clamped the back of his neck in one hand.

“Pardon me, sir,” Gav rumbled.

Bates Junior looked up, then up some more, then up a little more, and made eye-contact with Gav. Gav opened his mouth to say something reasonable, like, ‘if you do not stop I will crack your skull against the curb like an egg, so help you God’ or something of that nature. Bates Junior registered Gav’s long hair, his beard, the gages in his ears and the star tattoos on his neck. His face went stark white. Behind the both, the woman was still wailing.

“If you do not—”

The man swung the key like a sword and put forth a mighty fine effort at burying it in Gav’s chest. Bless him, he was a brave little fucker! Gav stepped backwards out of his reach and clucked. Let it never be said he hadn’t intended to be reasonable. He had very much wanted to be an adult here. He was twenty-three years old today, after all. But some people just didn’t know how to act.

He moved his grip to the back of Bates Junior’s head and slammed him face-first into the hood.

Now people were panicking, and clearly calling the police. Gav took a moment to consider his position. Bates Junior heaved a sob through his broken nose, splattering blood onto the hood. The car’s owner sucked in a warbling breath and renewed her screaming.

Well, he was about as fucked as it was possible to be. He gave the guy a few more slams, just so he wouldn’t forget, and let him fall to the dirty asphalt. Bates Junior looked up at him, quailing, weeping, very obviously pissing his pants. Gav cocked his head, took a step forward, and Bates Junior flinched. Squeezed his eyes shut and put his hands up in anticipation of the next blow.

Gav spat on him. It didn’t hit his face, but Gav figured the rest of it was fine so he didn’t need to get every detail perfect.

“And that’s what the fuck you get, you car-vandalizing piece of shit,” he said.

He sat down on the curb and glanced up at the woman, who was staring in open-mouthed horror.

“Howdy,” he greeted. “I ‘spose I’m gonna, uh, gonna just wait here for the cops, ma’am.”

“What are you, retarded?!”

Gav blinked and pulled a face at her.

“Well, I think that’s a real awful thing for you to go and say.”

“You could totally drive away, though,” the woman protested. “Nobody would snitch on you, nobody that saw you do that. Holy shit! Is Mike dead?!”

Gav didn’t spare the guy so much as a sidelong peek.

“Aw, he’s bein’ a lil’ baby, I didn’t do mucha nothin’. If he’s just laying there it’s nobody’s fault but his. I mean, he may have a busted up face, broken nose, y’know. Fractured orbital socket, topsies. If he, uh, if he had any brains he’d be running away before I decided I was okay with going back to jail. Anyway, ma’am, I know you’re dealing with a lot right now but you shouldn’t call people retarded. It’s fucked up.”

The woman sat down next to him.

“I can’t believe I’m getting lectured on politeness by someone who just committed aggravated assault.”

“He was keying your car, ma’am, he deserved it.”

“I don’t think ‘he deserved it’ is an actual legal defense.”

Gav shrugged. This wasn’t the weirdest conversation he’d ever had or the weirdest place to have it. Top ten, though. The woman was easy to talk to. She had a pleasant, lilting accent and a very expressive face. A very expressive, very pretty face.

“Yeah, well. Maybe our buddy Mike here will think twice next time he wants to act crazy.”

He sighed, and scratched the side of his head.

“Beg your pardon, ma’am, I better call my boss and let her know I’m about to get arrested.”

The woman twirled a strand of her long, long black hair around her finger, and fixed a little smile on Gav. The bottom of Gav’s stomach hit the concrete harder than Mike hit the hood of the car, and his ears started burning.

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” she asked. “My name’s Cho-rong Park.”

“Gavin Statzis.”

Sirens wailed in the distance. Gav pulled out his phone, and made the call while he still had time.

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